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Dr. Meredith Barber Psychotherapy

Couples Work

It is easy for people to see what their partners are doing wrong. It’s harder to listen to them with an open mind and an open heart. Also, it’s much harder—but far more rewarding—to make the change yourself rather than demanding it from them.

In couples therapy, you will spend a lot of time listening to your partner. It’s work for the strong of heart. It requires listening to your partner and holding onto yourself at the same time. This means listening while staying open. You’ll learn to calm yourself enough to realize that the other person’s experience is just that—their experience—not an attack on your character. Truly listening means tapping into your own curiosity about what is underlying your partner’s thoughts and actions rather than mentally preparing your counterargument.

We will practice this type of listening in the office. You the listener will learn to give appreciations and develop curiosity, so that you can ask questions that will lead to learning more about the speaker. You will learn to empathize with your partner’s experience rather than getting caught up in your own experience.